We are told all the time that we have it all. Good food, jobs, a place to live, recreation time. Our lives have never being better. So what’s wrong? Why are more people depressed? Unhappy? Or are taking drugs or alcohol? I'm seeing lots of clients with ask me - what's the point?
Perhaps they are just the tip of the iceberg. The ones that therapists see. But there are other groups that are self-soothing. Ones that do it more subtly. And you, believe it or not, may be one.
Perhaps they are just the tip of the iceberg. The ones that therapists see. But there are other groups that are self-soothing. Ones that do it more subtly. And you, believe it or not, may be one.
Why are more people overweight than in the history of man? The ‘experts’ say it is because we have more access to processed foods and don’t know how to control our eating habits (loss of control - addiction?). Why are we now hearing more and more about sex addiction? Some suggest that internet porn is to blame and, in part, as it makes sex stimulation easier, it is. But there is more to it.
And what about the gym-focused people who just have to go to the gym three or four times week? Or the joggers? Or the social media followers? How fanatical do they get?
Although we should have more time we seem to have less. All those gadgets that were meant to make our lives easier don’t seem to . We’re frantically chasing around being busy, but our bodies aren’t made for this. We need to pace ourselves. So what has happened?
Apart from the external drugs (heroin, grass etc) I think we are also self-soothing by stimulating our bodies to make the feel-good drug - Dopamine. That’s what all our activities have in common. That’s the subconscious focus of our lives. And because we are bored or stressed we are resorting to a drug that makes us feel good. A cheap drug - one we produce ourselves.
Food, including chocolate, drinks, exercise and sex all help the body generate dopamine. The more we have the more we want. But because we produce it in our bodies (it's natural so it must be healthy!!) then we notice it less than something we would have to inject. So we are all slowly becoming addicts.
What to do? Slow down. Accept periods of little to do, but include some physical activity. Maybe one that actually achieves something - cleaning up a river or building houses for the poor. Give yourself some self-respect. Your life is worth it. Give it some purpose. Stop wandering and take up a direction. But be moderate.
Enjoy other people's company. Don’t keep them at arms' length by electronic messaging. Humans are meant to be sociable and that means seeing, touching, hearing others. Life was tough fifty years ago but there was less illness, less stress and less depression.
Work is important and we need the money it generates to support ourselves and our families. But should it define who we are? Perhaps not. It is part of us but not all. So give it the priority it deserves but don’t let it take over. When you are on holidays you have earned it so your boss shouldn’t expect you to answer emails. Switch off. Focus on your relationship. Be human not a machine.
And what about the gym-focused people who just have to go to the gym three or four times week? Or the joggers? Or the social media followers? How fanatical do they get?
Although we should have more time we seem to have less. All those gadgets that were meant to make our lives easier don’t seem to . We’re frantically chasing around being busy, but our bodies aren’t made for this. We need to pace ourselves. So what has happened?
Apart from the external drugs (heroin, grass etc) I think we are also self-soothing by stimulating our bodies to make the feel-good drug - Dopamine. That’s what all our activities have in common. That’s the subconscious focus of our lives. And because we are bored or stressed we are resorting to a drug that makes us feel good. A cheap drug - one we produce ourselves.
Food, including chocolate, drinks, exercise and sex all help the body generate dopamine. The more we have the more we want. But because we produce it in our bodies (it's natural so it must be healthy!!) then we notice it less than something we would have to inject. So we are all slowly becoming addicts.
What to do? Slow down. Accept periods of little to do, but include some physical activity. Maybe one that actually achieves something - cleaning up a river or building houses for the poor. Give yourself some self-respect. Your life is worth it. Give it some purpose. Stop wandering and take up a direction. But be moderate.
Enjoy other people's company. Don’t keep them at arms' length by electronic messaging. Humans are meant to be sociable and that means seeing, touching, hearing others. Life was tough fifty years ago but there was less illness, less stress and less depression.
Work is important and we need the money it generates to support ourselves and our families. But should it define who we are? Perhaps not. It is part of us but not all. So give it the priority it deserves but don’t let it take over. When you are on holidays you have earned it so your boss shouldn’t expect you to answer emails. Switch off. Focus on your relationship. Be human not a machine.
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