​Even with increased awareness and lots of ‘ordinary’ gay soap opera characters and gay celebrities it is still challenging for the individual - and for their family and friends. Unfortunately, for family and friends there is a general expectation that the acceptance of people with different sexual attractions should be easy and almost immediate. Life is really not like that, and for quite a few parents and family members it still is a challenge.
A lot of focus has been placed on helping gay individuals who are confused about their feelings, and in time most come to accept who they are. Little support, however, is given to parents, siblings and friends who are expected, almost immediately, to accept a ‘different’ person to the one they thought they knew - a person that perhaps the coming-out individual has spent years learning to accept.
Usually acceptance isn’t normally instant, and because of this family and friends can suffer feelings of guilt, loss and shame. The fact that this is understandable doesn’t make it easier. Coming to terms with an announcement around sexuality can take time; sometimes, because of religious or cultural beliefs that have been part of the person's whole life, it can become almost impossible.
Learning that a child, sibling or friend is gay, lesbian or bisexual is like discovering that the person you knew is actually someone different - or, at least, feels like this. In fact, they haven’t changed; they are still the person you loved and cared for. They have just comes to terms with a part of themselves and have made a decision to share this with you.
There may be a sense of mourning for the loss of what society still sees as the ideal - a wedding and grandchildren, or nephews and nieces. There may be guilt - "what did I do wrong and what will the extended family and neighbours think?". Anger is also not unusual - "How could they deceive me, let me think of a future that wasn’t to be or do things behind my back?".
All of these feelings are normal. Sometimes they can be worked through by talking to the person who has ‘come out’; sometimes talking to others in the same situation can bring about a normality or even a realisation that the end of the world is not actually nigh. In some situations there may be a need to talk to a professional, such as a counsellor, so that one can explore one's feelings without judgement.
Remember, few are lucky enough to just accept the coming-out announcement with no shame, anger and confusion. It will take time and may be difficult to adjust; but you have the control and you are the one to decide the way forward. Just don’t lose a son/daughter or sibling or friend because what they have told you is not within your normal comfort zone.

Here’s my suggested seven steps to get your goal.

• Be realistic. But not only that - take ‘bite-size’ steps. For example, instead of thinking that you are going to jog for an hour each day, start with 10 minutes and gradually build up. Avoid being fanatical - chill. Measure your achievements at the same time each week. This allows for successes and failures and evens them out.
• Write down your goal and put it somewhere you can see it each day. Maybe a ‘post-it’ note on your desk top.
• Two steps forward, one back. Keep cool and focus on your way forward. Don’t "do" guilt - just accept that you slipped and get more determined.
• Tell someone. Get their support and encourage them to ask you now and again to find out you how you are getting on.
• Be positive. We all slip up, but unfortunately most of us tend to focus on failure and become down-hearted. But this time you will get there, as you are setting do-able goals over a longer period of time.
• Just do it. Many people wait until they feel motivated, but they could be waiting a long time. The brain doesn’t like too much change and so will procrastinate. If you are planning to do more exercise, get out and walk. The gym can come later.
• Group work may help. Learning from others can be inspiring and help you avoid the traps that changing your life can entail. Plus you will have their encouragement to help.

Remember - positive thinking has power. If you really want to do it, you will. Summer’s here and life can feel more rosy. Now is the best time to really believe in yourself and not get dragged down by negativity.

These feelings can exist even when you are surrounded by lots of people. They can occur even when you are in a long-term relationship and discover you have nothing in common but stay in it for a particular reason - for example so that your children have both parents. Teenagers and young adults can feel lonely even though they constantly use all the modern forms of connecting - Twitter, Facebook, texts and emails. In fact, the increased use of electronic communications can actually mean we have less face-to-face contact and so are at a greater risk of feeling lonely.

Loneliness is a state of mind that, if not tackled, can lead to depression and a downward spiral of isolation. The challenge is to do something about it. Tackling loneliness means that you have to take control of your life, and that can be challenging. Sometimes friends can help; sometimes you will be able to do it yourself. And occasionally you may need the help of a professional such as a counsellor.

But it is important to remember that loneliness is also a normal part of being human. When we say goodbye to someone who is leaving for a number of months or years - perhaps because they are going to another country for work - or when someone close to you dies, it's normal to feel loneliness. It is whether we get trapped in that loneliness or accept it and move on that is important.

The way that modern relationships develop is leading to more and more people living alone. Because of this we need to ensure that we have regular quality contact with others. Electronic communications can help but are not the solution. We can fool ourselves that we have hundreds of friends, but gradually it will dawn on us that we never see them. And humans need the stimulation of physical and visual contact.

Because you are reading this article it is likely that you either suspect that you are lonely or know someone who is. Realising that you are lonely is the first step to tackling this problem. From here you can now decide if you want to do something about it. Getting structure into your life and looking to do activities that you like are the next steps. But it may not be easy so try to get someone to support you as you change.
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The role of positive thinking is also important and that’s where trained counsellors can help - you can do it, you will do it. Believe in yourself and take that first step to freedom from isolation.

At the same time, access to information about sex and sexuality on the Internet does mean that awareness of sexual differences has increased. Those who had previously restricted themselves in believing that people were either heterosexual or homosexual now find sexuality a lot more fluid than that. It also means that those who felt they were ‘weird’ or ‘different’ to everyone else have sometimes found that there are others with similar interests.
I have noticed in the past few years that young people especially are more fluid with whom they are sexual with. For those who believe that men and women are either straight or gay this can be confusing. However, if we accept that most people have bisexual inclinations then being able to be physically intimate with either gender makes more sense.
There even seems to be what I term evolving sexuality. At one point in one’s life one can be very drawn to either the same or opposite gender but later this can be reversed. And so individuals can become very confused. However, again because of the embarrassment that talking about sexual feelings and desires can cause some people, individuals can shy away from exploring their confusion. This is when talking to a counsellor can help. 
The emphasis within society is still very much that one must be either straight or gay. Those who aren’t are just considered strange or greedy. So an individual finding that their feelings change depending perhaps on the person they get close to, regardless of their gender, and then feel physically attracted to them has to work hard at accepting these desires. 
But society is changing. There is more acceptance of individual differences. However, if you are confused or just want to explore your sexual feelings, support is available. Search for a therapist that you feel you can trust and then start looking at whatever it is that is concerning you. Discussing these feeling with someone who doesn't judge will probably help all those concerns disappear.