Coming out’, or declaring one’s 'different' sexuality, is difficult and complicated. No-one has to declare that they like the opposite sex (i.e. heterosexual) - society assumes they do. So, accepting that you aren’t the same as most of your peers and family can be an emotional turmoil and takes strength of character - and to then have to announce it or to tell others about this very personal part of you can be frightening.
Summer is a great time to work on self-improvement. Our lifestyles change focus and tend to be outdoor orientated - subject to the weather of course! Even our personal and work patterns change and we tend to be more positive. So why not use this fantastic season to move towards the person you want to be.
As we enter into the autumn with its shortening days some people begin to feel lonelier. The sunshine of summer seems to keep feelings of loneliness away but in the cold, wet and dark days of autumn and winter it is more difficult. This time of the year can mean that we get out less often and therefore can feel cut off from our friends and family. Some, especially older people who have lost their life-time partner, may not see anyone for days.
It is important to distinguish between being alone and being lonely. Loneliness is being unhappy when you are alone. A feeling of emptiness. People can feel loneliness differently. For some it is a sort of slightly uncomfortable feeling - that your life isn’t complete. For others is a heavy weight of nothingness. It seems that the more we, as a society, are open about sex the more confused some people become. Sex, despite the great strides we have taken in understanding its role in our lives, is still a subject that causes many to be embarrassed and this, in turn, generates secrecy.
Secrecy, unfortunately, can mean that for those exploring sexual desires slightly different to perceived norms can be ashamed of their feelings. This can, in turn, lead to poor self belief and feelings that one is ‘disgusting' and ‘weird’ and not worthy of being a member of society. |
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September 2020
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